Easter is on its Way

Nocona and the kids made a few of these excellent paper-mache Easter egg nest. She just cut up strips of paper bags dipped them in flour water and drapped them over plastic bowls protected with plastic wrap. Let it dry over night and wa la...Easter Nest.

Take Us Out to the Ball Game

My people and I had fun watching our cousin/nephew play baseball the last couple of days. Two days ago we were watching in almost ninety degree heat then yesterday it was low forties and freezing wind. Texas...got to love it.

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Weeds?

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Breakfast Party

Happy Birthday to the best Mom/Grandmother on Earth. Sorry to the rest of you. Unfortunately, your Mom's are all playing for runner-up.

Tendonitis

Tendonitis is the verdict. I have a "pretty bad case" according to the doctor, which lucky for me will probably be a reoccurring problem for a long time to come. For now, I get the pleasure of icing my shoulder for 20 minutes 3-4 times per day and wearing an anti-inflammatory patch for 12 hours at a time. I am allowed to do exactly nothing with it for the next month. At the end of the month, if it is still jacked up I am supposed to go back to the doc and pay for a bunch of expensive pictures.

It's not all bad news though. As I am explaning my shoulder falling apart following my 3+ hour wrestling match with the tiller, I see a sparkle in my doctor's eye. After she finished the history, testing, diagnosis and explaination of the treatment plan, she asked with excitement, "So, what did you plant?"

I explained all the things in the ground now and the things to come, and discovered that my doctor and her husband are huge gardener/farmers. By the end of the appointment, I had a bunch of free shoulder patch samples, a prescription, and my doctor's home phone number. She said her husband would sell me some of his awesome greenhouse raised tomato plants for only two bucks a piece. Booya! Discounted tomato plants for the low cost of a $200 or more doctor appointment (crappy insurance! no co-pay...100% until deductible is met).

Started

Yesterday, I had a bad shoulder. Today, I have a terrible shoulder. I downed my cup of joe and scrambled eggs this morning, and zipped off with Izzy to Home Depot. We made quick work of selecting the biggest tiller they had to rent, gave the man fifty-five bucks and hurried home to tear open some backyard. Nocona and I wrestled the 250 pound tiller out of the truck bed, and that was the end of the easy stuff. With blissful ignorance, I fired up the giant rear tine tilling machine, popped it into gear, and off we went. Some of the dirt was silky smooth and the tiller chewed it up like a soft baked cookie, but approximately one forth of the patch was like a brick...house might,mighty. Mighty ridiculous. After 3 hours and several passes of doing the world's longest isometric tricep dip, the garden was started and my shoulder was finished. I did, however, go on to plant potatoes, onions, a few strawberry plants, a couple of cucumbers, and a blackberry bush. My 4 hour rental time constraint coupled with my stupid shoulder prevented me from making the garden quite as big as I wanted this year. Overall though, I am pleased with the outcome.

Take a Whiff

The family and I just returned home from our exodus. I walked in took a deep breath through my nostrils, and what's that I smell? Nothing! Sweet Nothing! Excrement defeated!

Swamp Thing

When I arrived home I was greeted by open doors and a terribly disturbing and cliche buttcrack peaking over the top of sagging jeans half way inside a hole in my son's closet. The plumber had arrived. He ripped out giant sections of perforated and severely damaged septic line, which had led to what he described as a "potentially hazardous amount of methane gas." It was enough methane to chemically react with the antique copper pipes turning them shiny and silver. My disposition on the whole matter is less than shiny and silver. The plumber spread enough lime under the house to "neutralize" the problem. Although, lime in and of itself is a problem. Now I sit and wait for the magical absorbing reactions to happen and then I can bring the family back. The swamp gases do seem to be dissipating somewhat. However, I fear my prolonged exposure to the hazardous waste dump might have some unwanted side effects. Hopefully, I won't wake up in the morning craving algae and a propensity toward killing everyone who crosses my swamp.

*Picture from http://www.hollywoodoutbreak.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/swamp-thing.jpg

Evac

The family has been safely evacuated from the toxic sewage dump (aka my house), and dropped off at a safe undisclosed location where they are safe from the terroristic mold attack. Now I prepare to return to the battlefield.

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Malodorous Stench

No garden today. Once again, work has pushed its ugly head on scene and changed better plans for the worse. I have to go to work today and make some extra cheddar. So, the start of the garden is officially postponed until tomorrow or possibly next Wednesday. Now lets talk about something far nastier. Several weeks ago we started smelling a faint malodorous stench in the air each time we entered our house. Initially it was easy to attribute the slight rancidness to a poop diaper or a morning contribution to the porcelain throne, but as the days advanced so did the assault on our olfactory glands. Something in, or more precisely under, our house was bad wrong. Since we rent our house, I contacted the property management and advised them concerning the unpleasant situation. Then, a week later, I contacted the property management and advised them concerning the unpleasant situation. Then, a week later, I contacted the property management and advised them concerning the unpleasant situation. Then, just when I was about to get as nasty as the filth growing beneath my house they called back and said the plumber was on the way. When he arrived he opened a super secret access panel, previously unbeknownst to me, which provided access to the under side of the house. Ignorance truly is bliss. The septic system has been leaking under the house creating a grotesque mixture of fecal matter, gray water waste, mud and their evil offspring, MOLD! Like Dr. House blankly staring off into the distance the moment a brilliant diagnosis comes to light, I stood next to the secret hatch to my horrid hell barely hearing what the plumber was saying and realized this was the reason everybody, but me, has had sinus infection type symptoms for the last two and half weeks. I am sure the only reason I have avoided the symptoms is simply due to the fact that I leave the house for eight plus hours everyday. Shit! Our shit is poisoning us!

A Dark Day

The dreary dark sky this morning mirrors the feelings of a little person's tragic loss. Goodbye last paci.

*And the Mom and Dad secretly rejoice.

Welcome Back Spring

Tiny leaves are starting to form on the barren winter-hardened tree branches and new peddles are bursting on the scene with the life we all missed over the last few months. Now its time for me to take a long deep breath... first, because it will be my last allergy-free breath for at least three months, and second, because it is time to work.

This week I will be breaking open the soil and dropping in seeds. I have high hopes for our little garden this year. We are saying adios to planting boxes and hello to the sound of tiller tines digging deep into the rich top soil that is my backyard. Besides, the planter boxes were transformed into a treehouse last Fall. So, buying a ton of new wood for new boxes, not to mention the dirt to fill them, was pretty much out of the question.

On Wednesday, weather conditions pending, I will till it all up, rake out any unwanted weeds, mix in some good compost (both store bought and my own year long rotted concoction), form rows and start the first crops. The first seeds in will be potatoes, onions, lettuce, spinach, peas, and carrots. I might also start two or three blackberry plants along the fence.

Welcome back Spring. Let the work begin.

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She's 30 and Still Winning

I'm 32 and a lazy tub of lard.

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Excessive Apathy

I feel like doing a big bunch of jack squat.

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Occam's Razor

Mother of bad kid: "She has been diagnosed with a severe case of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Have you heard of it before?"

Me: "Actually, I am very familiar with it. I think the layman's term for it is She-Has-Never-Had-Her-Little-Butt-Spanked-In-Her-Entire-Life-Disorder."

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