mmmm...Homemade Bread

I've started making bread every Thursday, which would normally be a very strange day for bread making, but Thursdays are my Sundays thus making them the perfect day for making bread. The 2 loaves last our little family almost exactly one week. It acts as a nice destressor before I head back to Stressville (a.k.a. work) on Fridays. Hope you like it.

P.S. If you think its gay that I make bread....I carry a gun and fight for a living so bite me.

Most Delicious Bread

1 packet dry active yeast

2 cups hot water (100-110 degrees)

2 teaspoons honey

1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons of vegetable oil

5-6 cups of flour

First, put the hot water in a big bowl, dump the packet of yeast in and whisk it until the yeast dissolves. Then add the honey and whisk it in really good. Now just let it hang out alone for about 10-15 min of quiet time (when you come back you should see some little bubbles on top of the mixture - that means the yeast activated...good job). Next, throw the salt in followed by the oil mix those in really good (I use an old school hand mixer, but I guess you can use an electric mixer if you are a wuss). Now add 2 cups of flour (I usually make one of these whole grain flour) and go to town with that mixer for a couple of minutes. Put the mixer down, do a little stretch and grab your wooden spoon...time for some strength training. Add 3 more cups of flour, 1 at a time, mixing it together really good. Take your time. Phase 1 complete!

Time for kneading. Dump the bread on a floured surface or counter top and get to work punching, pushing, throwing, folding and kneading. Sprinkle small amounts of about 1/4 - 1/2 cup more of flour on the dough as you are kneading to keep it from sticking to you and the counter top. Knead for about 10-15 minutes. The dough should be more elastic than sticky. Now take the original big bowl wash it out, dry it good and spray it with some cooking spray. Take the dough ball, place it in the bowl and give it a couple of flips to get a little oil on both sides. Cover the bowl with a slightly damp kitchen towel and let it stand for 1 hour 30 minutes (the dough should rise to about doubled in size). On to phase 3.

When you come back and uncover your doughy monster, look it square in the eye and punch it in the face. That's right ball up your fist and punch it down. Next, dump it back on the lightly floured surface and give it a few more kneads. Then roll it out with the rolling pin to about 1/2 inch thick and use a sharp knife to cut it in half. Take each half, roll it up into the shape of a loaf, pressing down as you roll to make it air tight, then tuck the ends under and place it in a greased loaf pan. Put the towel back over and walk away for another 1 hour 30 minutes. Almost there!

Once the dough has risen for this second time, melt some butter in a dish and brush it on top of the loaves. Now this part is up for grabs. I usually go pick some fresh rosemary, chop it up and sprinkle it on top along with a tiny bit of garlic salt and flax seed, but you can put whatever you like on it I suppose. Pop those babies in a 375 degree oven for 25-30 minutes. Once you take them out, remove from the pans and let the loaves cool on a wire rack for a bit before getting your eat on.